Feeling Myself

Hello Beautiful People!

Yes, I know it has been since February since my last post (You are more than welcomed to fuss at me) but I am BACK *does happy dance* and in a much better place mentally, spiritually, and physically.

I’m feeling pretty good these days but that is not to say that these last few months have been the most trying and uncomfortable months ever. As you know from my last post, I began seeing a therapist to help cope with some of my depression and anxiety disorder. My therapist reminds me of one of my aunts. She is so funny, witty, empathetic, and most importantly a God fearing woman. Some sessions have been pleasant, some however had me wanting to walk right out and never come back again. But my therapist stuck right by my side through it all. There were so many laughs, tears, and prayers between the two of us. We discussed EVERYTHING. Talking about heart break, loss, rejection, and my insecurities was very tough especially when it came to old relationships. We discussed my very first heart break and how I felt so broken and misused. Losing loved ones has also had a tremendous impact on my life. I never learned how to deal with it properly. It was scary reliving some of those moments but I knew in order to have a breakthrough I had to finally come to terms with it and embrace what all came from it.

Along with going to church and listening to Pastor Mike speak on a lot of the issues I have been facing, really helped me better understand my feelings and how to properly deal with them. I had to learn to let some of the HURT go. I had to learn how to truly FORGIVE those who have betrayed me. I had to learn give myself some CREDIT as well. That was probably the hardest to do. I always thought of myself as just an average woman just out here trying to get in where I fit in but that is absolutely not true. My therapist had me write down a list of all my accomplishments. I almost had the page filled. She then asked how I did feel about them and I couldn’t answer right away. I kept looking at this list and just started to break down. I have done a lot. I mean A LOT! My friends can vouch for me on that. And the sad thing is that even though I have accomplished so much and still have a lot going for me I never got to that place where I felt happy about myself until now. I know God created me to be a light that this world so desperately needs. I know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made in His image and that no man can stop what God has for me. I now see why God allowed me to go through all of these trials and tribulations, to make me a much stronger and wiser Jasmine. This may sound weird but I have actually began feeling myself. No Im not being cocky or anything like that. But when you have lived most of your life in fear and finally come out of it, showing confidence is a breakthrough in itself.

So now what? Well now I have to stay focused. I can’t afford to lose sight of my goals. And that goes for you too! Not everyday will be peaches and creme but you can get through those bad days. TRUST ME. If I can make it then you can too. No matter what you have been through, no matter the circumstances you are facing right now, just know that God has you in this place or situation for a reason. You can either let it run over you or take on the storm head on. The good thing about storms is that they don’t last always. They have to END but you don’t!

"...Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - Marianne Williamson

Hang on in there my friend!