Reflections from 2014

If you could sum up 2014 in one word, what word would you choose?

Well, for me personally I would have to say 2014 was EXHAUSTING.

Looking back, this year has been painful but yet humbling. I went through so much physically, mentally, financially, and spiritually. There were some days that I felt like I could conquer the world and then there was those days were I did not want to exist. At one point, I lost confidence in myself to do anything right. I was just here on this earth taking up space in my opinion. There was so much positivity surrounding me. I had friends and family that got married, had babies, got promoted, got into school, and etc. Even with a few health scares with some relatives my family was strong and healthy. But when I looked at myself, I saw nothing. I questioned every decision I made. I even thought about just packing up all of my things and just moving back to Water Valley. I was wanting to run from my issues. It wasn't until closer to the end of year around Fall that I slowly started to find myself even more. I started forming a relationship with God. Not just going to church and events but legitamately having a relationship with God. I prayed more, studied the bible more, and got more involved with my church. The relationship I developed with God literally transformed my way of thinking and living. Now I am not saying that I am perfect. I may slip a curse word or two but my living has been intentional. I noticed that the closer I got to Him the more the Devil tried to come after me as well. With going another level came a bigger devil. This battle has been rough. Even til this day, Im still working on some things and trying to fight my way out of this. This battle has been going for years. 2014 forced me to look at myself and everything that I have been supressing for years. From the passing of my Father years ago, previous relationships, failures of my own, and so forth. I never dealt with my feelings and emotions in a healthy way.

BUT ALL OF THAT IS ABOUT TO CHANGE!

I started planning and praying about 2015 back in November. I declared that this new year will be all about RESTORATION. Everything that I lost in 2014 and even prior years, I am getting it back. My confidence, ambition, determination, boldness, and tenacity is coming back. I refuse to settle for less and take no as an answer. I know if I continue my relationship with God and be intentional in my living, all the desires of my heart will be granted plus some. I want to be open to love fully again. I want to be able to take risks and lay fears aside. I want to be be able to inspire and encourage others. I've made a bucket list for 2015. Everything that I have been putting off or just simply scared to do is getting done. Getting on a plane is the first thing. Next week I'll be booking a flight to Florida during the Spring to visit a childhood friend. I know you guys are probably like "what Jas I thought you would have been on a plane by now!" Oh no my friends, Jas has always been afaid of heights. I've never been on a roller coaster either but I told my cousins we are going to an amusement park when it gets warmer and I'll tackle that too.

So here is to 2015: May this year be everything we every wanted and more. May God grant us the strength to endure the bad times and rejoice in the good times.

My challenge to everyone this new year is for us to love more. Love is the greatest gift God has given us. It doesn't cost anything to spread love. Love drives out hate, fear, and wrong doings. This world has seen it shares of frustrations and injustices from all angles. We as a society can not expect to progress and make great change if we can not have love for our fellow neighbor.

See you guys in 2015